Friday, October 29, 2010

THE SCRUNK FILES PART DEUX ON PULSE,PH

The second part of my Scrunk article on Pulse.ph. Excerpts below.

THE SCRUNK FILES, PART 2 of 3: AUTO-TUNE THIS, SON


PART TWO: Where we dissect the blemishes and barfs of the scrunk vanguard.


The crunk core kids aren’t too sure themselves about what exact message their music wants to say; but what they are sure about is that they want to party hard, drink lots of booze, get inked, and—as the BrokeNCyde song “FreaXXX” goes—“get fucking freaky now!”

Crunk core (also scrunk, crunk punk, and screamo-crunk) is the newest emergent genre to come out of middle America. It resonates strongly with global teens and tweens and spreads itself via the MySpace and Twitter virus. It combines the rollicking suburban style of dirty crunk rap and the belligerent screams of post-hardcore. More specifically, I should say it tries to.


The Boston Phoenix describes it as “a combination of minimalist Southern hip-hop, auto-tune croons, techno breakdowns, barked vocals, and party-‘til-you-puke poetics.” The way scrunk awkwardly saturates its songs with auto-tune, in particular, is so odious it can make T-Pain sound like Enya.


If you’re not familiar with it, auto-tune is a vocal effect that sounds like Cher, Lady Gaga, and a very horny robot had a vicious animal orgy inside your mouth. [Time answers the question of why pop music sounds perfect—or intentionally imperfect—hereEd.]

TO READ THE REST CLICK HERE.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

THE SCRUNK FILES PT 1 ON PULSE,PH

The first of a three-part article on the emerging Crunkcore genre released on local music Net channel Pulse.ph. Thanks to the EIC Aldus Santos. Here are some excerpts.


THE SCRUNK FILES, PART I: GET SOME LAMB, DAWG

PART ONE: In which we shake hands and fists with the post-emo brethren.



Seven in the evening and the sky’s awash with PET bottles. Raining with it. I’m in the middle of Amoranto Stadium about 30 meters from the stage barricade surrounded by a couple of thousand strong metal heads, emo kids, freaks, punks, and orcs. A lot of orcs. This is Pulp Magazine’s annual Summer Slam circa 2010.

The torrential downpour of plastic has been an impromptu invention of the kids I’m sharing this sprawling arena with. We’ll call it Inter-Pit Bottle Pong. This new game comes close to being hazardous to my shaved head. And so I hold my crossed arms up to shield my head, fists curled down to the top of my spine, elbows to the sky in self-defense.

Why am I smack dab on ground zero of this heaving, malodorous mass of young flesh bent on destroying each other with a massive display of hurled objects?


THRASH THE SCRUNK

When you hit your thirties you start to doubt if you can survive a violent mosh pit at a venue the size of Amoranto. I’ve never been to a Summer Slam but all reports previous pointed to an extremely hazardous environment freed from the comfy walls of a club. There are no safe corners here, bub.

Plus, Testament and Lamb of God headlining this event was just too good to pass up. A couple of things came free with the general admission ticket: a copy of the magazine, a condom (variously flavored), and a Pepsi in a PET bottle. They inflated the condoms and tossed it around the arena like a beach ball. Guess what they did with the PET bottles?

Still, the bottles didn’t hurt per se. They were empty 80% of the time. The remaining 20% were packed with arena soil, dirt, and/or contained urine. So here I am with my hands above my head cursing the idiot who armed the little buggers. When Lamb of God finally started I took my angst out on the nearest punks unfortunate enough to be in the way of my St. Vitus dance.

TO READ THE REST CLICK HERE.

Monday, October 25, 2010

THIS WAY DOWN

Just finished watching a couple of horror movies and one that struck me as astounding with its pace and build-up to its no redemption, no apologies climax is The Descent.

A barkada of hot, athletic girls go caving and get lost in a subterranean maze after a tunnel collaspses. What do they find there? No cute li'l bunnies I assure you. The great thing is, since they're mostly athletic they're no damsels in distress.   

ARMING HOT GIRLS WITH LIGHTSABERS IS ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA

I first encountered Clare Grant in the Masters of Horror episode titled "Valerie on the Stairs" where she played a very naked (90% of the time she's in her birthday suit) and very horny succubus/mental construct.




Turns out she just got hitched to hardest working Hollywood geek Seth Green. So how about a nude pix of Seth's wife?


Nice eh?  She's also apparently part of a gamer girl group called Team Unicorn that does great parody stuff. Like this girl on girl saber duel, for example.


Star Wars - Saber from Darth Anonymous on Vimeo.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

WE HAVE DETERMINED THAT YOUR SYSTEM SUCKS

Journalist Raissa Robles recounts the horrors of trying to get her senior citizen mother her rightful monthly pension. And they say Pinoys are famous for caring for the elderly? Bull crap.

Faith in our national governance? They can't even get their lousy biometrics to work.

Still, read on. The whole  post is HERE.



GSIS Killed My Mother

By Raissa Robles

Let me tell you how GSIS killed my mother.

Actually, she’s still alive.

But GSIS simply decided she was dead.

Even after I personally brought my mother, Gloria L. Espinosa, on November 5, 2009 to the GSIS office along Quezon Memorial Circle. There, she dutifully sat in front of the biometric machine and the technician tried to re-register her existence not once, not twice, not thrice, not four times, not five times, but SIX  #!*^#!! times.


Finally, the technician told my mother that maybe the skin on her fingers was just too thin for the biometric machine to read.

This did not happen only to my mother. Other elderly pensioners who used the same machine at that time also failed to register. Now I wonder, is that intentional on GSIS’ part? To have a machine that cannot register and read the fingerprints of elderly pensioners?

It was actually the second time my mother, Gloria L. Espinosa, sat in front of a GSIS biometric machine. About a year before that, she had gone to the GSIS main office in Manila. The technician there was also NOT able to get her digital fingerprint. !!!!#%$^&!!!!! But GSIS obtained her new address and keyed that into its database. That is the proof that my mother actually went to GSIS to register her existence.
Because she again could not be registered on the biometric machine that November 5, 2009, the technician just keyed in my mobile number (for contact purposes) into the machine.

Just to be sure they had a record of my mother’s personal presence, my mother painstakingly filled up a ‘VISITOR’S REQUEST FORM” to tell GSIS she was still alive. I even submitted a photo of her which I took during her October 24, 2009 birthday. When you become a pensioner, be prepared to lose your dignity. You are required by both GSIS and SSS to pose with a newspaper, much like a kidnap victim.

Let me add something for the record. Before I took my mother to GSIS, she gave me her power-of-attorney and I personally went to the GSIS Quezon Memorial office four times to nag them that she was still alive and they should recognize her existence. I went through the process and did not for once try to short-circuit it by invoking the power of the press. (What power?) I was advised to bring my mother and so I did.

Last month at 11:58:10 of September 29,2010 I got this text message from GSIS:
REMINDER: Pls RENEW ACTIVE STATUS AS PENSIONER ON UR BIRTHMONTH 2 ensure uninteruptd receipt of pension Go w/ecard 2 any GSIS Ofc If cmplyd pls disregard Ty”

I must confess, so many unprintable words rushed through my mind upon reading this.

You see, the GSIS Quezon Memorial office told me and my mother last November to have patience since the GSIS computer system was having glitches. We were told GSIS would not be able to encode my mother’s name into their database until early this year.

Ha, ha. They fooled us.

My mother’s troubles began when she went to Canada to visit my sister for several months and she was unable to appear personally in GSIS on her birth month of October.

In February 2005, GSIS simply killed her without notifying her.

Since then, my mother has not received the monthly survivorship pension as the widow of my late father. GSIS Quezon Memorial told us that on April 13, 2008, GSIS prepared a check worth P101,634.85 for my mother but GSIS CANCELLED it because she never came to get it. How could she? They never !!!!#%$^&!!!!! told her about it.

My mother’s monthly pension is quite small – only P3,504.65 – compared to then GSIS chairman Winston Garcia’s salary and benefits.

But GSIS even tried to cheat my mother my preparing a check for her worth only P101,634.85 for the uncollected pension from March 2005 to March 2008.

Read the rest of the post HERE.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

ZOMBIE DRAMA

Robert Kirkman's The Walking Dead will soon be released as a TV show adaptation. And Frank Darabont is directing. This is a great thing. Rick's story and the saga of a world in the grip of a zombie apocalypse can now be told on celluloid.



I love the comics series. You should, too. It's a no-brainer.

MAMBABASANG PINOY REVIEWS N.O.T.S

I find it very amusing how bloggers are the ones who most often complain about the hassle of going on-line to check out stuff they'd like/need to find out more about. As a journalist who started out with just landlines, phone books, snail mail and good old legwork, I tell you it's really really nice not to have to go to an interview cold. 

I digress. This is a confusing review at best, but at least he took the time to write all his thoughts down. Thanks, bro. The original post is here



Oktubre 7, 2010, 8:34 umaga 
Excited ako ng bilhin ko ang librong ito.  Tulad ng maraming Pilipino, mahilig ako sa mga horror stories.  Kumpleto ko nga ang lahat ng libro ni Stephen King.  Mahilig din ako magbasa ng mga True Philippine Ghost Stories na libro.  Kayat masaya ako sa kuwentong katatakutang ito na sulat ng isang Pinoy. 

Nang buksan ko ang librong ito, bigla akong napaisip: Sino ba ang mga taong ito na pumupuri sa librong ito?  Dapat ba ay kilala ko sila? Well, buti na lang at nandyan si kaibigang Google.  Aba’y, mga kilalang personalidad naman pala ang mga taong ito.  Bakit hindi na lang nila nilagay kung sinu-sino sila?  Nag-research pa tuloy ako.  Pwede naman nilang ilagay:  Carljoe Javier, author of And the Geek Shall Inherit the Earth.  Di ba?

Anyways, ang librong ito pala ay hindi isang nobela, kundi apat na maiiksing novellas.  4 Novellas of Horror, sabi nga sa title page.  Ito ay ang Angelorio, News of the Shaman, Faith in Poison, at Bright Midnight. Medyo magkaka-konekta ang apat na ito bagamat stand-alone stories naman sila.  Sa kabuuan, maganda ang pagkakasulat sa libro.  Hindi ito masyadong masalita tulad ng ibang mga nobelang ingles na gawa ng ibang Pilipino na para bang ipinagmamalaki ang laki ng kanilang bokabolaryo.  Makatotohanan din ang mga dialogue, hindi masakit sa tenga.  Makikita mo rin ang iba’t ibang personalities ng mga karakter sa kuwento.  Matagumpay ito bilang isang literary fiction.  As a source of entertainment, well…

Sa Angelorio, dalawang lalaki, sina Raul at Lucas, ang naghahanap ng kasagutan sa kani-kanilang mga katanungan.  Matatagpuan nila ito (o hindi matatagpuan) sa isang club na pinatatakbo ng mga nilalang ng kadiliman.  Ang Angelorio.  Nagustuhan ko ang istilo ng awtor kung saan nagpapasalit-salit ang pagsasalaysay ng mga nangyari sa dalawang lalaki.  Nakakadagdag ito ng suspense at tension.  Nagustuhan ko rin ang mga stories na nakapaloob sa kuwentong ito, ngunit para medyo misplaced sila at parang wala namang kinalaman sa kuwento.  Kahit medyo marami na ring mga kuwentong naisulat na katulad ng Angelorio, medyo naging unique naman ito dahil sa paggamit ng awtor ng mga nilalang at mga ritwal mula sa kulturang Pilipino.
Nagustuhan ko namang mabuti ang News of the Shaman. Nakakapukaw ng interest ang alternative reality na iprinisinta sa kuwentong ito.  Dito, ang mga shaman, salamangkero, at paganismo ay isang pangkaraniwang bagay lamang at normal na parte ng ating buhay.  Maganda rin ang istilo ng pagkukuwento, sa pamamagitan ng mga radio broadcasts, interviews, at mga newspaper clippings.  Medyo nabitin lang ako sa ending dahil parang naging parang si Batman ang bidang Shaman.

Hindi ko naman masyadong na-gets ang kuwentong Faith in Poison.  Siguro ay mayroong malalim at lihim na kahulugan ito ngunit sa kasamaang palad ay hindi ko ito natuklasan.  Pasensya na po dahil ako’y isang simpleng mambabasang Pinoy lamang.  Ang kuwentong ito, na masasabing karugtong ng Angelorio, ay tungkol kay Lucas at sa naging buhay niya pagkatapos ng kanyang di malilimutang karanasan sa Angelorio.  Naging isang addict siya at parang walang direksyon ang buhay.  Tulad ng Angelorio, mayroong ilang mini-stories dito na para bang walang kinalaman sa kuwento.  Parang pangpakapal lang.  Hindi mo alam kung ang mga nangyari sa kuwentong ito ay totoo o dulot lamang ng droga.  Siguro ay maiintindihan mo ang kuwentong ito kapag high ka din sa droga.

Ang huling kuwento ay ang Bright Midnight.  Tungkol ito sa buhay ng isang banda matapos magpakamatay ang kanilang gitarista.  Hindi ko talaga alam kung anong masasabi ko sa kuwentong ito.  Hindi naman ito horror story, at least, hindi yung horror na kilala natin.  Siguro ay ipinakikita sa kuwentong ito ang tunay na horror ng buhay, mga problema at hirap na kailangang harapin ng tao sa mundong ito kasama na ang pagkawala ng isang mahal sa buhay.

All in all, masasabi kong medyo misleading ang paglalagay ng subtitle na 4 Novellas of Horror (dapat siguro ay Sex, Drugs, and Alcohol na lamang ang inilagay).  Although narito ang mga bampira, manananggal, kapre at kung anu-ano pa, hindi naman sila ang sentro ng kuwento.  Para bang extra lamang sila at kung aalisin mo sila at palitan ng mga pangkaraniwang tao, walang magbabago sa istorya.  Mas ipinakita rito ang mga kadiliman na nasa puso ng tao at sa mga katatakutan na kinakaharap natin sa totoong buhay.  With 183 pages, masasabi kong masyado itong maiksi.  Hindi ko alam kung sinadya ba ito ng awtor o ito ay isang limitasyon ng mga publishers dito sa atin.

Magugustuhan ang librong ito ng mga young adults, lalo na yung mga college students.  Pwedeng-pwede nila itong gawing subject sa discussion sa klase o kaya naman ay gawing thesis.  Pwedeng-pwede itong pagdebatihan ng mga cum laude.  Ano ba ang sinisimbolo ng Angelorio?  ng kerubin? ng manananggal?  Ano ba ang ibig sabihin ng Afterword?

Kung gusto niyo namang matakot at ma-entertain, nandiyan naman ang True Philippine Ghost Stories.
Overall Rating: 2.5 Stars